4 things Irish people should know before they go abroad

Since getting a chance to travel a bit I’ve noticed a few things that I wish I had known before I leaving Dublin. For my fellow Irish I have compiled this short list of things you should keep in mind in hope that you’ll be able to get the most out of your travels.

1) Don’t underestimate the sharpness of the butter knives.

This is no joke – I am raising awareness.

We all know how sometimes when words are converted from one language to another some things are ‘lost in translation’ this can be seen by translating Harry Potter from Chinese to English. This, though often harmless can have severe consequences. In Ireland, we’re proud of our laid-back attitude towards work, facial hair, alcohol, personal hygiene and life in general. We also have a laid back attitude to butter knives. In Ireland these cutlery are so blunt that on a regular basis we casually wave them through the air in a wreckless fashion and never suffer more than a tickle as a consequence of a stray swing. I feel that butter knives may be one of these miss-translations; it was perhaps intended to be translated as ‘knife of unexpectedly sharp serration’.

2) You’ll be meeting new people, why not wear a hat?

Yes guys, I wear hats, all the time in fact.

Sometimes we all get tired of our old ‘image’. When you go abroad you’re likely to be meeting new people and forming new relationships. So why not try a new image? There is a wide variety of images you could go for, you could grow a beard… or you could shave off an existing beard (probably the better choice of the two). As you can see in the diagram to the right I have gone for the hat approach. Hats are cool, it says something about you (“I don’t brush my hair”). But here is the rub; when you are trying out a new look you tend to be very conscious of it. So it is important to draw attention to something else. In this example I’ve gone for the pointing to my drink approach, this subtle gesture says to everyone “I’m not thinking about the hat, I always wear hats”. This is of course a lie- this photo is all about the hat. Sorry again for stealing your hat, Juraj.

3) You can still go to the cinema!

Having the craic at the cinema with Laszlo and Sergio.

Often when we move to a new place it can take a while to settle in. Doing some things you do back at home, like going to the cinema, can help you feel more comfortable. Most cinemas have the option of seeing dubbed or original voice moives, so you don’t need to worry that you never excelled at languages. This is why Laszlo, Sergio and myself have been happily going to the cinema almost every Friday. It gives us a nice opportunity to bond in a relaxed comfortable environment. So if you’re bored and the only sight seeing you want to do is seeing the bottom of a box of popcorn then look up your local cinema.

4) It’s very cool to be Irish don’t ruin it by ordering a rock shandy.

I may be a cyborg, but I’m an Irish cyborg

Non Irish people expect that all Irish people wear only green, greet only with ‘top of the morning to ye’ and drink only Guiness and Whiskey . I know while you’re abroad you probably want to try something that you don’t have at home, and of course the Guiness and Whiskey isn’t going to be as nice as it is in Dublin. But for your new friends you have already shattered two of the three masquerades of Irish cultural stereotypes the moment they meet you- don’t completely ruin their innocence by breaking the third.

I hope this helps. In general every second pub in other countries is an Irish pub so you should feel right at home. One was called ‘Dublin pub’- just like all pubs in Dublin.